Friday, July 27, 2012

Day By Day

Three weeks home today.  So much has happened since my last blog post that at times I almost felt too overwhelmed to update. Nothing bad, let me just start by saying that. Just a lot going on here and not a moment of idol time to sit and share my thoughts.

Last week was pretty hard. I kept praying that people would be gentle with my heart because I knew I needed it. I was lucky to be surrounded by so much love and understanding. Constantly I was lifted and reminded how special the people in my life are to me.  How much these relationships keep us lifted and supported during some of the scariest times.

Kayla's weight at one point had dipped down to 35 lbs. As a parent, I can not even explain how hard it was for me to look at my child who is almost up to my shoulder in height and see her at that weight. Kayla has been a very lean girl her whole life. She has always been 50% in height and 25% in weight when measured at her yearly check up appointments. There was a point last week when my heart broke. We were having a garage sale with our friends down the street when Kayla said something that jolted me into thoughts, fears and feelings. In hopes to get some calories in her as is our constant battle around here, we had given her a Scandi-Shake (which when mixed with ice cream, peanut butter and a banana, packs a punch of 1200 calories! Kayla had gotten about half of her drink down when she "choked" on a teeny tiny peanut chunk. (Have I mentioned her very sensitive gag reflex?) We could tell by her breathing that there was no talking her down from that I'm going to lose it moment. There in the middle of the driveway, all of those glorious calories came flying out in an instant.  I could see in Kayla's eyes that she was so disappointed in herself. We all told her it wasn't a big deal and that most of the calories would still be in her... but I could tell, she was taking it hard. She has only gotten sick two times since being home. We know that only one time it was a result of nausea. There is no one who is harder on Kayla than Kayla.  Before long I found her sitting by herself with tears in her eyes. I walked over to her and put my arm around her tiny shoulders to see what was going on. "I'm just a bag of bones. You should SELL ME" she yelled through tears. Nothing could have been worse to hear. You can only imagine how my heart ached for the pain she was feeling. It was a very hard week for Kayla.

Friends were a constant source of support for us all as we tried to gain ground on our new normal.  The kids were all trying to grasp the fact that Kayla isn't quite the same friend they once played with. Every one of them were exceptionally kind and understanding. I can only imagine how hard it would be to have this friend who now needs to stop and lay down so frequently.  I just kept reminding them that this is only temporary! As the week went on, we continued to see Kayla start to thrive more and more. She diligently weighed herself every day at the same time and at each meal asked what she could have next. Days are exhausting as we are short order cooks! Constantly making each and every single thing that she asks for stopping at nothing to keep that belly stretching.  I am happy to report that she is now 36.4 lbs.  It's a slow battle, but we will win it. Between the nutritionists, mothers instinct and the billions of suggestions from everyone, I don't think there is one thing we haven't thought of. Believe me. We have tried it all and are not giving up.

"Just Dance" With Antonia... SO much fun with her sweet friend!
Dinner, Boating and a sleepover with Megan and Amanda

 Nana enjoying the water fun!
Anthony & Amanda. "Love"
These two even had a pretend marriage ceremony before bed
 Amanda gives the thumbs up to more speed while AJ hangs on for dear life
Kayla amazed us when she tubed for a LONG time ... and LOVED it once again!
Megan & Kayla. Yes, they are the same age!

A super memorable fun-filled trip to the Jelly Belly factory with Maggie & Audrey 

And finally....
A pedicure by our favorite girl, Vi!

There were even more fun memories that I wasn't on my A-Game enough to remember to photograph! We have been busy living, that's for sure! Tonight, Kayla is spending the night with her great friend Claire. We heard the incredible news that Kayla even ate more at dinner then her friend. hahahaha!  See? Great strides. She's doing so much better... Mommy's heart is happy tonight. Sunday, we will have more fun celebrating Kayla's cousin's 8th birthday with a sleepover here and fun treats! We can't wait. :)

I have a few more updates to share, all in good time. I promise in the next post. It's big. HUGE really. Just finding the energy and the right words. I am close.  For now, I am taking my happy heart to the comfy couch and putting the tootsies up! I have my first full day back at work tomorrow. Wish my feet and back luck! ;)  Don't worry... I'm going verrrry slow! After 8 months of sitting, I don't have a choice. Good night all!


  1. YOU are an amazing inspiration!! Take care of yourself!!

  2. I agree with Julie (above). You are an amazing family! Sending prayers of health and happiness your way.

  3. I'm glad that Kayla is starting to gain a little weight! Poor girl that she is so hard on herself! I will keeping sending prayers to your family. Betty Criesco

  4. Loved seeing the kiddies playing together and what fun in the water! Wishing for ounces and pounds for Kayla...gotta be a slow readjustment for the body as it works its way back to normal eating/digesting. Good luck getting back into work routine and take care, dear, dear Annie. xxooAuntieAnn

  5. Glad you guys have been doing a lot of fun things since you've been home. Take it easy getting back into work. Can't wait to hear your news! xoxo Allie

  6. Its heartbreaking to hear that Kayla is so hard on herself, but you are doing an amazing job with her and your family is such a source of strength and inspiration to us. Good luck on your first day back, take care of yourself Annie and many many prayers of health and happiness to you and your family! HUGS!

  7. It looks like you guys are having a fun summer--finally! We wish we lived closer so we could join you:(
    We really like that your blog is not all sugar coated and fake, but real emotion and heartfelt. We look forward to reading them everytime they pop up!
    Big kiss for Kayla and AJ!

  8. Those beautiful kids look fantastic in Dad's new duds. You are all full of wonder. Bless your precious hearts. Love, Mary Hoburg

  9. Sorry dear Kayla is so hard on herself! She just knows what she has to do to gain this weight! Kayla you are an amazing young lady who has taught us all so much! Negu! Love You All!
    Erin Melrath