Friday, June 8, 2012
Final Preperations For Our Final Battle
This is it. Go time. Tonight my tiny hero was admitted to begin her fourth and final round to beat this ugly nasty hairy beast once and for all! The sky was incredible which filled our hearts with so much hope on our drive back to the hospital.
The past few days we have packed in as much family and fun time as possible. You know how you can smell the electric charge in the air when a storm is near? It's as if there is a some kind of sign surrounding us which gives the kids this additional love for each other that as a mother I wish so badly we could witness more often! They were thick as thieves those two! Hiding from "the parents". Telling secrets. Asking to sleep in the same room. Playing game after game together. Kayla showing more patience with her brother then normal. Anthony being more loving towards his sister then normal. I just enjoyed it while it was there.
The kids copped a squat on the playground (since we had it all to ourselves) and enjoyed the beautiful weather. There's nothing like a friendly game of Candy Land in an actual Candy Land playground!
This has been a very hard week back in our home town, Novato CA. We lost a very special woman, mother & wife to this monster, Cancer. Jennifer Wilson Cooper. She was such a strong and inspirational person that I only wish I had more time to get to know. She is survived by her husband (and love of her life) Dennis and her son James (Little J) who is just a grade younger than Kayla in the same school. Jennifer was a huge help and advocate for our family as we have been going through this battle with the beast. She did so with a smile on her face and courage in her heart. Always. I am so sad for all who love her and continue to feel the waves of grief. I can not thank her in person now like I had planned on doing. I won't get that chance. Little J will not get a kiss on his cheek while being tucked in by his mom tonight. It's not fair.
One thing I have learned during this is that a lot of people don't know what to do, how to act, or what to say when someone they know is put in a situation like ours or who is going through grief. Some of you are nodding. I know I was once there nodding too. I can only say, be a constant in their life. If someone you care about is going through something traumatic, the worst thing is to be left alone. More often then not, you worry you will disturb them, bug them, or say the wrong thing, or just get repetitive. Trust me. Your not! And repetitive is GOOD!!!! No, it's GREAT. Even though I haven't been able to respond to each email or note I have read filled with love or encouragement, I am constantly lifted over and over again. It's helped me to stay strong enough to write this blog! It's surprising to me who has been in our corner throughout all of what we are going through (you all know who you are!) and who we truly believed would be that hasn't. It's the most devastating thing going through something so life changing and wondering where the people are who you felt such comfort around before. People you assumed would be behind you every step of the way... Yet, through this, we have made some truly amazing and genuine friendships. There are friendships and relationships we cherish so much now... even a few from people we have yet to have met! The love that we have felt from people who have never even met us, or hardly knew us before is one of the most amazing feelings ever! I knew that relationships would change through this, but I had no idea which ones. So please, not just for me, but for anyone you may encounter from now on going through something big... bug them! Don't let them suffer alone. Be there to support them if you truly love them. I know I will from now on.
So, tonight as we pulled up to fight our monster, I was filled with renewed hope and love. Such peace ran through me. I grabbed Kayla's hands and we said a little prayer. I hugged and kissed her and she told me something I needed to hear... "Mom, I've GOT this. I'm going to knock it out of the park. Cancer, you can leave now. You are NOT welcome here in my body". Of course, I cried. She is just so brave and so smart. Such a kind and wonderful little girl. Thank you again Danny Thomas for giving us this chance at a brand new start at an incredibly fulfilled life. We are blessed.