Saturday, April 14, 2012

Chemo sucks

No one ever said it would be easy... just worth it.

Kayla. Oh sweet baby girl Kayla. What a day. The puffiness was lessened but is still present. Especially in her tiny eyelids. I hate that! It makes me sad to look at her normally perfect and beautiful eyes and cringe at how painful they must feel to her. I know they will go down soon and that is good. It can't go away soon enough for me.  Donna bought Kayla some really cute Mickey Mouse earrings when she was at Disneyland last. Kayla was very excited and wanted them changed right away. She sure loves Donna (so do we)  :)

Kayla's fever continues to come and go. It's being "managed" by Tylenol right now but we still don't know what is causing it. The cultures typically take 48 hours to come back with results. So, we wait and wait. Since birth, Kayla has always had a very sensitive gag reflex. Now, it's really bad. She gagged on the thermometer under her tongue and vomited. Later, she had me cut her gummy vitamin in 1/2. Nibbled at half of it. By the third nibble of the first half, it gagged her and she vomited up the 3 or 4 sips of the milk shake I had just coerced her to drink just before along with more meds. Meds that had to be taken again because it hadn't been long enough.  All that work and it was for nothing. Frustrating. We will have our favorite girl, Ashley from OT come and work with her asap on this. We have realized that a lot of it is mental at this point. She is so afraid of swallowing anything.  We hope that Ashley has some good tricks up her sleeves. Kayla gets disappointed in herself but we continue to tell her how proud of her we are and that she is doing the best she can.

Anthony was happy to see his daddy today. So happy he spit on him. Literally. On purpose! We know. It's for attention. We know. Sometimes attention is attention. He got busy writing an "I'm sorry" letter and he spent the next few hours alone with his dad. It's hard on a four year old to know how to express that he misses his dad. He says, "It's not fair!" a lot. How do you explain to a four year old that cancer isn't fair?
Still. We continue to teach the lessons and do what we have to do. How do you keep strong? You have no choice. That's how.

Kayla is being encouraged to drink from her milkshake just before the "vitamin" incident. Tic-Tac-Toe. If she loses, she takes a sip

We got some free tickets for a semi-pro ball game tomorrow. It's box seats! Anthony has never ever been to a baseball game, so he will have a blast! Donna and I will make sure that Anthony has good time. I want him to have good memories from all of this.  We have two kids to protect here. Sometimes it takes sacrifices. I know Denny will stay on top of Kayla's care like no other. I will keep my phone on my lap and never stop thinking of Kayla while we are gone.  We will be just around the corner... which makes me a little more at ease.

Tomorrow is a day of "rest" for Kayla. No more Chemo. She should start to feel a little better and hopefully have more energy. Soon she will be throwing that foot ball again.


  1. We are here, sending love and constant support. You teach us how to truly be. God bless and hold you. We hold you in our hearts. Our love, Mary and Frank Hoburg

  2. Our Lady of Loretto church says a prayer for you every Sun. Tomorrow will be an extra special one ! xoxoxo Luv u K

  3. What a sweet, sweet girl to smile in those photos, despite how awful she's feeling. I learned while drinking gross medicine that 80% of your taste comes from smell, so if you plug your nose while drinking or eating something bad, you can get it down much easier. I don't know how well that works for over-active gag reflexes, but I hope that maybe that could be of some use. I've heard elsewhere to hum because it's harder to gag while humming...interesting. My prayer for tonight is that tomorrow is much better on the gag reflex side of things and that Kayla's swelling goes down. I hope her down day can be somewhat relaxing for her body. xoxo P.S. I don't think I've ever seen a photo where Anthony isn't smiling - what an incredible kid!!! :)

  4. Tough day for Warrior K. It can only get better! Good to hear you're able to get out in the spring weather for a baseball game. Enjoy it! Cheering for you guys! xoxo Allie