Last night I got lucky. Temporarily lucky! They had a fun night of BINGO planned at T2 so we headed on over. The prizes were stocked and the room was packed. I was lucky and won 4 out of 5 games. Take me to Vegas right? We walked away with some fun toys for the kids to enjoy and that made them feeling very lucky. In a lot of ways, I do feel lucky. Lucky to be here. I know... that must sound so very strange...
This Sunday, it will be yet another holiday spent away from home. Although there is NO place like home, I can't say enough for the people here who are quickly becoming our friends and family away from home. True friendships which we cherish and conversations we look so forward to sharing in are surrounding us right now and for that we are so very grateful. Most of our struggles are the same. Our worries, our stories, our stresses aren't usually too different from each others. We find comfort in the fact that all of us here truly "get it". We all live with the severity and reality of our situations that have now become our life. In many conversations here, we confide in each other about how hard it will be to return to normal life at home again. We know it will be so hard to hear people around us complain about homework assignments, work, or their kids having colds etc. I can not even put into words what any of us would trade to deal with normal life's challenges. I can not even explain how hurtful it is to hear some of the daily complaints we come across listening to strangers conversations in stores or friends on Facebook for example. I have been so close to deleting my personal facebook account so many times now, but have found that deleting people or blocking posts have been a much better way to handle that for now (or just not log on). I know that while I'm here in the moment, it seems easy to just delete things that I can delete... but that is unrealistic. Life will be surrounding us before we know it and we will have to deal with all that comes with it. Now don't get me wrong... there is a LOT of good there too! Honestly, I have never felt so much love before in my life. I know that we will be surrounded by that as well, but will you be in the same aisle as me in Trader Joes when I feel like dropping to my knees sobbing because I heard someone behind me complaining to someone she knows about how horrible her daughter's cold has been on their family? (yes, this happened!) I just am so afraid of how I might react to this one day. I am a very positive person. No matter what your situation is, or what life gives you, you have to try and make the most of it. Being here, surrounded by constant support is the easy part. It's the reality of normalcy that tends to be hard on me.
Somehow I just know that by the time we leave here and get to go home after Kayla's treatment is complete, we will figure all of that out. For now, we are just so grateful for getting into St. Jude. We know that we are lucky to be in such incredible hands here.
On Sunday, there will be an Easter Egg hunt here at the Target house. The staff and some volunteers have been busy stuffing LOTS of plastic eggs behind the desks of T1 and T2. I forget the exact number but I think it was in the thousands! So, it will be sure to be a lot of fun for the kids and families here. Where I might be sad to just be away from home on another holiday, our friends Laurie and Mike's son Connor will be starting his second round of Chemo on Easter. I know that we have many years ahead of us to celebrate many things, but it's just hard when the holidays hit. Birthdays are hard to plan. Mine is this month (the 21st), Denny's is May 8th, Kayla's May 9th. We have no idea where we will be at (as far as Kayla's health or her coarse of treatment) during those days... things change on a dime around here. What I do know is that we have Faith, Love & a LOT of hope! And thank God for some really great friends to keep us standing tall! Thank you to all of you who follow our journey and continue to keep our family in your thoughts or prayers. Keep them coming!!!