Tonight Kayla asked for a haircut. Simple enough. Asking isn't at all out of the ordinary in this house. But tonight, I knew it would be a hard haircut to do. Her reasoning was completely legitimate. It's a pain to wash right now between all of the stitches both on the back of her head and by her bangs. Kayla said, "Mom, it's time for a new look". Well... that had me by surprise. I turned the heat dish on outside to get it nice and toasty. Then I turned on her new Justin Bieber CD - "Under the Mistletoe". Anything for Kayla right now. Dad and I stacked 4 or 5 pillows up on the chair so she could lay back flat. It still wasn't high enough so I just had Den hold her in his arms. She still has a ton of glue in her hair. I don't know what they used in that operating room, but even after my REALLY thorough scrubbing there was STILL blood and glue residue in her hair. I couldn't help but think that soon enough the glue and all of it would be gone. I took my time washing and conditioning it. In the back of my mind I kept thinking, maybe this is the perfect opportunity to bring up the next phase in all of this...
We went over to the chair and I gently combed and sectioned her hair being so careful of all of her sore areas. I stopped in-between each section to kiss her on the cheek. I asked her if she wanted me to cut her bangs short like she had when she was a kid? She told me that she had been growing them out for so long and she wasn't sure. So, I said to her that no matter what her hair looks or doesn't look like, her face would always be beautiful. That her eyes would still sparkle and her lips would still smile! And those teeth!!!! You can't forget about those teeth. She beamed and said, "Ok, just chop them off then! Give me some bangs so I can get this darn hair out of my eyes."
As I was cutting I took my time. I know it will grow back, but it will be a while..... And chances are it will come back totally different! So, this might be the last time I cut "this" hair. About 3/4 of the way in, there was this really pretty slow JB song called "Pray". It's about finding strength. The chorus (for those non-Bieber households.. haha) "I close my eyes and I pray. I close my eyes and I can see a better day". For whatever reason, the lyrics got me. It doesn't take much (especially music) to just make me turn into a crier. I decided exactly how I was going to word this to Kayla. I told her that I was so glad that the doctor made the bump in her head go away. I said that the next step in all of this is to make sure it stays away. There will be a lot of different medicine. Maybe even travel by plane! She liked that idea. Then I said, most of the time the medicine makes your hair fall out. I told her that it always comes back. Sometimes and most often, it comes in different! She told me that if it comes in curly like Antonia's hair, she would be totally fine with it. I loved it. That was just the reassurance that I needed.
So, I sit here tonight wondering what news Monday will bring us. We have a LOT to do to get ready. We are researching second opinions for treatment facilities. Denny and I would fly to the moon if it meant a better chance...... Who wouldn't?! So, of course we had the whole weekend again to just wait and wait. But it's ok. God has a plan. We know it. So we just hung out and played and laughed and had a pretty ok time. Things are getting more and more normal. Tomorrow I am going to go to AAA and get a handicap placard so we can get discounted parking and bridge toll access for all of our trips to who knows where over the next year. On one hand I want it to go slow. On the other, it can't go fast enough! I am bummed I didn't take a better pic of her new short "do". It was hard to get her to smile b/c her neck was bothering her. When that pain sets in, it takes over. Anyway, the whole picture hasn't been painted for her yet, but she at least knows why she isn't going to school tomorrow.
Good night, we are retiring to the couch now! I feel like I climbed a small mountain.