Exhaustion does not feel good. Burning eyes. Limbs that feel like lead. A heart that aches. It's not a good look. I don't recommend it.
Last night was Kayla's toughest night yet. We had a feeling when she started getting sick at about 4pm yesterday that we were going to be in for a long night but we were optimistic. When you haven't eaten anything in two days and there isn't anything to get rid of, it's worse. She was up every 30 mins all night long. Each episode lasted a good 10 minutes. She was sobbing through the heaves out of pure exhaustion and pain. Our hearts echoed those feelings. Pure helplessness. Agony. Just sadness knowing there isn't anything we can do to comfort her or make it go away. Benadryl, Ativan and Zofran didn't even touch the nausea or let her rest. The Zofran and Benadryl are given in eclips (they look like grenades) which are even more powerful because they are given through her central line. You can imagine how her tummy must feel with all of that medication in her and no real food to help soak it up. There really only is one more thing we can try, Phenergan. It's just a heavier narcotic to hopefully help with the nausea more effectively while allowing her body to rest. It's very strong. We are hoping this will give her more relief tonight. To make matters worse last night, the fire alarm went off at midnight. Yep! Seriously. The entire building had to evacuate until they cleared us all to go back in. At 4am Denny was sitting up on the couch in the dark. Kayla was on his lap. It was the only way we could console her and get her to be able to rest. Her chest was pounding. Everything was aching. We all just wanted to sleep. It did not look comfortable. So, once again, Denny gets the father of the decade award.
It's 3:00pm. We just got back from the hospital. The day there started at 8:30 am in assessment triage where her blood was drawn and all of the other various checks are done (blood pressure, weight, and a temp check). We were lucky to get in to see the doctor and get Kayla's GCSF earlier then scheduled because Friday's are generally lighter days for the hospital. It was a good thing because we really needed to get back and rest. Unfortunately, we had to wait a few hours after, yes hours, for the new prescription to be filled. Kayla is still getting sick a lot. Not every 30 minutes, but at least every hour. Poor baby. I hate this. I know it's not forever.. but on days like this, it feels like an eternity.
This is the story of a girl named Kayla who at 7 1/2 was diagnosed with a cancerous tumor in her brain called Medulloblastoma. "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. " Genesis 50:20
I hate it when my kids are sick with the flu. I can hardly imagine what this would be like. You guys are amazing parents. Your family will be in my prayers. Praying for peace and rest for you all.
ReplyDeleteYou are both amazing parents, truly. This roller coaster ride you are on...sucks! We will continue to pray for all of you!
ReplyDeleteNot fun at all but you are correct, it doesn't last forever. I will pray specifically that Miss Kayla stops vomiting and that you all get some good sleep!
ReplyDeleteWe are so sorry you all have to go thru all of this! Kayla is lucky she has amazing parents to hold her all night long. You are in our daily thoughts and and we hope tonight is better!
ReplyDeleteThis is a day to pull out the memories of Kayla playing with her girlfriends in the sun and laughing and being free - those days you knew you'd need to think back to on days like this. It will be like that again soon, so stay strong and keep focused upon the path. This, too, shall pass. We are all praying for contentment for all of you.
ReplyDeletePraying for sweet Kayla to be able to rest peacefully without this vomiting, and also praying that mommy & daddy will be able to rest & be refreshed! Stay strong, dear friend, and know that we will continue to uplift you in prayer. Love you..
ReplyDeleteI hope you know you deserve "mom of the year" too.
ReplyDeleteThis is just heart breaking! I will pray that the nausea goes away and that you can all get your much needed rest. Hopefully in a few days she will be back to her happy joking self since the hardest days are the ones right after chemo. Betty Criesco
ReplyDeleteExhaustion can be painful and we are sending soothing tummy thoughts to memphis. You guys are super heroes and Kayla is lucky to have such dedicated parents. Jen H.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear about the nausea and that no one is able to rest. Very tough to have lack of sleep on top of everything. Hope you find something that brings some relief.
ReplyDeletePhenergan? Where are you? I hope you all get what Kayla needs to meet the nausea discomfort. Sending lots of love and strength to you.......thank you for blogging Annie, you must feel like a Zombie by now. :( You deserve another "Mom of the Decade" Award too! Dig deep, real deep and find the power to fight with Kays. You're doing an amazing job as parents!!
ReplyDeleteHope it's a better sleepFULL night,
Love,
Neena