Exhaustion does not feel good. Burning eyes. Limbs that feel like lead. A heart that aches. It's not a good look. I don't recommend it.
Last night was Kayla's toughest night yet. We had a feeling when she started getting sick at about 4pm yesterday that we were going to be in for a long night but we were optimistic. When you haven't eaten anything in two days and there isn't anything to get rid of, it's worse. She was up every 30 mins all night long. Each episode lasted a good 10 minutes. She was sobbing through the heaves out of pure exhaustion and pain. Our hearts echoed those feelings. Pure helplessness. Agony. Just sadness knowing there isn't anything we can do to comfort her or make it go away. Benadryl, Ativan and Zofran didn't even touch the nausea or let her rest. The Zofran and Benadryl are given in eclips (they look like grenades) which are even more powerful because they are given through her central line. You can imagine how her tummy must feel with all of that medication in her and no real food to help soak it up. There really only is one more thing we can try, Phenergan. It's just a heavier narcotic to hopefully help with the nausea more effectively while allowing her body to rest. It's very strong. We are hoping this will give her more relief tonight. To make matters worse last night, the fire alarm went off at midnight. Yep! Seriously. The entire building had to evacuate until they cleared us all to go back in. At 4am Denny was sitting up on the couch in the dark. Kayla was on his lap. It was the only way we could console her and get her to be able to rest. Her chest was pounding. Everything was aching. We all just wanted to sleep. It did not look comfortable. So, once again, Denny gets the father of the decade award.
It's 3:00pm. We just got back from the hospital. The day there started at 8:30 am in assessment triage where her blood was drawn and all of the other various checks are done (blood pressure, weight, and a temp check). We were lucky to get in to see the doctor and get Kayla's GCSF earlier then scheduled because Friday's are generally lighter days for the hospital. It was a good thing because we really needed to get back and rest. Unfortunately, we had to wait a few hours after, yes hours, for the new prescription to be filled. Kayla is still getting sick a lot. Not every 30 minutes, but at least every hour. Poor baby. I hate this. I know it's not forever.. but on days like this, it feels like an eternity.