Nothing new today. I promise! It was a nice and easy day. Maybe I should count this as a blessing. It was medicine given at the scheduled times. Wonderful FB Video chats filled with info and laughter. It was a much needed shower for someone (KAYLA) with a much anticipated bandage change. It does itch so much when it's time. Tomorrow we start our day at 7am. for a blood draw. Radiation at 7:45. That is the earliest start time yet! I almost didn't blog tonight because there was nothing new to share, but Denny made me feel guilty reminding me (and quoting) the messages from our daily readers. I get it. I check my email daily. I get it! haha. I felt compelled with love to sit here and at least write something! We are ok. Hanging in there........ I still want this all over with. I am still scared. That's the truth. More tomorrow friends. Promise. (ok Den? I promise!) Tomorrow will be the start of more to share. It has been wonderful to have NO new info. I can't promise that......... but I can HOPE :)
update. Ok. After talking a bit more behind the scenes:
I know that a time will come where Kayla will one day understand the severity of all of this. For now, She is at almost a perfect age. She is old enough to walk through this somewhat. Soon enough... she will truly get it. Any younger and she would have been at an age where "tumor" or "get that bump to go away forever" would have been hard enough to explain. She gets that. We know that just above the bend is an age where she will understand what "relapse" means. And "cure". It will be when she truly is old enough for that that I don't know how I can hold back the flood of tears to come....... I pray for that strength.
This is the story of a girl named Kayla who at 7 1/2 was diagnosed with a cancerous tumor in her brain called Medulloblastoma. "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. " Genesis 50:20
Dear Annie - I think all of us who follow your blog would agree...no guilt if it's just a few lines, please! When there's a routine day, a quiet day, a day not needing venting or reflections - just a note of "we're ok and got through the day's routine," or whatever short greeting/details you want to send as reassurance, is fine! Future strength for whatever comes? You will have it, fellow Taurus the bull. We are, of course, hoping the word "cured" is what the docs use to describe Kayla in the months/years ahead. The uncertainty now, so early on, is very, very difficult. With you, as always, AuntieAnn
ReplyDeleteYour amazing Annie. You can handle it. Its hard to think about. I have nothing to compare it too. However there are plenty of things I Worry about daily, questions Ashton may have in the future. I guess we just have to try and just be there for our kids and answer the questions as they come. I am sure that the support from you guys and so many family and friends, will be enough to get her through it <3<3 Keep hanging in there and staying strong. You have already come far, and before you know it, it will all be over.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you wrote even when there is not much to write about! I'm glad that meant that today was an easier day. So many of us are very concerned about Kayla and check this daily.
ReplyDeleteAnnie, We warm our hearts over your words and the power of your family and that mighty and knowing warrior of yours. You touch us so deeply. Keep your faith and try to catch your breath. Good Lord, you have been in a high-speed race for months. God chose brilliant parents for your beautiful daughter and son. Please know how blessed and magical you are. Love, Mary and Frank Hoburg
ReplyDeleteYou will find it.
ReplyDeleteHoney,
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to hear that you had a noneventful day. A day of rest and relaxation. Being together through all of this you will continue to "dig deep" and find the strength to be there for Kayla. Just as you have up to this very point. God, I KNOW it's hard, but you (like me) must keep the faith and know that you're doing the best possible for Kayla. Both you and Den are doing what you do best. Divide and conquer! You and Den are together for a reason, and that reason right now is Kayla. I'm so proud of you both and love you so much! Keep digging deep and know that I'm right there helping to hold you up! This new year will be a better one for all of us, I just know it!
Hanging in there with you my sweetheart,
Momma Neena
Annie, you are one of the strongest women I know. I only wish I could be as strong as you if an event like this ever happens to me or my family. You & Denny & Kayla are an inspiration. I am saying prayers for strength & healing & love for all of you. May this new year bring only positive outcomes for you all. Love, Cindy Jacque (Cheri's friend)
ReplyDeleteThank you for your honest words and if anything you write helps (your sanity) in the least bit, it was worth it. Take each day at a time. Concentrate on helping Kayla right now and try not to let your mind worry past that (yeah right, easy for me to say!). Just know your family has affected a great many people and we are all sending positive thoughts your way daily! You both are amazing parents!
ReplyDeleteSorry I forgot to sign the last comment! Love you, Tomaz, Diana and Isabella
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting, you are in my thoughts daily :) Stay strong to all of you :)
ReplyDeleteI found blogging even just a few lines/thoughts every day helped me connect with my support system. Glad you're doing this. The blog will really help you through it.
ReplyDeleteAnnie, for me, the shorter the blog, the more I know that you are all just spending quality time together and in this case, no news is the best news!!! Just to know that you are all together and breathing and relaxing is enough of a post for me. Heck, you could even post "Taking a blog vacation to spend more time making crafts with Kayla" would even suffice. I love you tons. Please let me know if there is a moment where I can get in on the video chats, too :) . I am off from Reed until Monday and would love to see your faces!!!
ReplyDeleteDear Annie
ReplyDeletePlease feel free to take a break when you need or want one. You don't need to feel guilty or reassure any of us. You need your strength for you and for your family. That is all that matters. With love cate
Keep the faith! Thank you for the blog - we are all sending you our prayers.
ReplyDeleteWE had a wonderful guest of honor at our Christmas Eve dinner:
Anthony! He was a delight and charming! Check out the video of him on my FB page - Carolyn Meyer